Go away, far away…

This afternoon, you sent me another message telling me to go to die… A few minutes later, you sent another message asking me to die sooner…

It’s only this morning, you also told me that I am cheap.. This word, you actually have said it many times… I used to feel devastated when you said it for the first time… But now, I already feel numb to this word…

Afterwards, you sent me a video of a girl who accompanied you to have a fancy dinner and said there’s no way for me to compete with her… You told me her name.. The girl you always mention in order to make me feel jealous.. That girl who can make me want to puke…

Only a week ago, you also called me a bitch, asked me to shut up.. You said that you never want to hear another word from me… All the things I have said is meaningless to you…

But, until now.. you still don’t want to leave me alone… You are still playing with my heart, keep hurting it as if I am your trash, a heartless toy…

Why am I allowing a guy to treat me like this? I already know for a long time that he is an abusser…

I shouldn’t allow this to happen.. Papa wouldn’t want to see her daughter to be treated this way..

I used to be a bright and confident person, I don’t need a man to make me happy… I can live my own life independently like before… I have family and friends who love me dearly…

So, why am I still in this toxic relationship? I need to get out…. Help me….

Please help me to get out….

If anyone has a glass of forgetful water, please send it to me.. I will gladly drink it…

Remember you..

Thousands of words

It’s been a long time since I wrote in my blog… It’s not that I don’t have anything to write, but I just couldn’t find myself to write my inner thoughts anymore…

Papa left me last year, Mamie Julie also left me this year and Doctor has advised me to write my sorrow in order for me to have a platform and grief properly… But, I don’t know what to write except the word “pain”, “miss”, “longing”, “painful”, “darkness”…

I remember that you loved to write as well.. Both of us love to write actually.. We both love to express our emotions through writing… But, since we broke up, I never write any letters for anyone.. It’s like, I want that to be just “our thing”… That’s how I want to remember you..

Few days ago, I heard about your life story and how you have been hurt.. Hearing that, my heart felt hurt again… I even cried….

Why can’t you just be happy? How dare she can hurt you like that? Why can’t you live your life happily ever after? Why she didn’t cherish you well? Doesn’t she know that it’s a life time good luck to be able to be with you? Why? Why? Why….. I let you go because after everything, I thought I didn’t deserve the perfect you… I was not good enough… I thought you would find a better happiness, a real one…

After all these years, there’s not a year without me praying for your happiness… On my birthday, on your birthday, on Christmas day; I always pray for your happiness and your mom’s too… You have been always in my prayer… I don’t pray for just anybody.. Besides you, I only mentioned my dad… After all, I am afraid that God is too busy to take care of everyone so I only mentioned the people I care deeply…

I know that you would never see / read my blog… That’s why I am writing all my feelings in here.. It’s not that I don’t want you to know.. But, I just don’t want to add any burden in your life… Unless being friend with me is what you want, I wouldn’t want to disrupt your life… I care about your heart too much…

Sometimes, I see your IG.. I love the way you interact with your son… He seems like a very smart kid, a great son… You really have raised him well… Seeing him is like seeing how hard you worked all this time.. He’s your pride and joy… I wish he could continue to make you smile and happy… Because, you have suffered enough.. I can feel the pain of what you have been through emotionally and financially… Dear, you really deserve to be happy…

I am now reading all of the letters you sent me again for the 100th of time… Thank you for giving me this along with the 298 birds and other stuffs.. Everytime I remember you, I always read them again… It gives me warmth everytime my heart feels cold…

I hope that life can be more kind to you.. I wish you every hope and joy… All I care is to see you smile.. Please remember, you are the person that I always compare every guy to… It’s because you are so perfect in my eyes…

Please don’t look down on yourself, don’t be under confident… You will always matter.. Because you are you…

QQ

My New Drama Obsession – 2016 Q1 (Korean Edition)

Continuing my previous post about Chinese / Taiwan Drama, I want to talk about the Korean eye candy edition because it makes my life happier (LOL)… Sometimes, you just need a break from a heavy Chinese colossal drama.. Here we go:

1. O My Venus

o my venus

I have nothing to say besides “Watch it, watch it, and watch it!!!!!” This drama is the one.. If you love the movie “200 pounds”, you will love this drama..

Review: 20/10

2. It’s okay, It’s love 

It's okay it's love

For the first time in my drama life that I feel like watching a true couple instead of the couple on screen.. It’s like they are really in a relationship.. And I still think they do.. The chemistry is just spectacular.. 🙂

Review: 15/10

3. High Society 

High Society

I like this drama a lot and now I am watching it for the second time.. However, I like the second couple much more to the first one… The second couple has a lot of “lovey dopey” chemistry and I often re watch their scenes over and over again… Will follow their upcoming dramas for sure..

Review: 9/10

4. She was pretty 

she was pretty

I like this drama a lot and it’s very pleasant to watch… The male lead is kinda rude at the beginning but I guess it’s necessary to create the tension… This drama makes me remember why I fell in love with Korean Drama at the first place..

Review: 9/10

5. O My Ghostess 

Oh My Ghostess

I was very sad when this drama finished because I simply miss the GHOOOOOOSSSSTTT… I wish that she can have a second chance to live forever inside the female lead body.. Hehehe… The male lead actor, as always is very handsome from beginning to end… I love him from King 2 Hearts and I love him here… Will be waiting for his upcoming drama…

Review: 9/10

6. Kill me, heal me 

kill me heal me

Everyone……… This couple is baaaaaaaaaaaaack on screen….

It’s very entertaining to watch and I think that this series is going to be a classic!!! I love them from “Secret” and I still occasionally rewatch the drama.. Although this drama is not as great as Secret in my opinion, it is still very fun to watch.. There are couple of funny scenes which will make you laugh until you have a stomachache.. I love it, love it, love it..

Review: 10/10

7. Hyde, Jekyll and Me 

hyde, jkyll and me

I think out of the “Psychosis” syndrome dramas, this is by far my less favorite but still a good one to watch… I always love Hyun Bin (Well.. Who doesn’t??) But, got a bit dissapointed why he chose this instead of Kill me heal me.. I heard KMHM was offered to him first at the first place.. Such a bad decision..

Review: 7/10

8. Yong Pal

yong pal

I almost forgot to include this drama in my post.. I love the first 8 episodes.. It gives you the thrilling edge and it got you hooked in your sit.. The second half is not bad either… But the last episode didn’t satisfy me as viewers… Overall; if you are a big fan of Kim Tae Hae, it’s definitely a must watch…

Review: 9.5/10

9. The producer 

The producer

I wanna cry talking about this drama but not in a good way… This drama is so wrong in every step of the way.. I dropped it during episode 4… I even couldn’t stand to continue even though it has my favorite actor to date, Kim Soo Hyun.. I even went to his fan meeting and paid a lot of money… (That’s how much I fancy him)…

Taking my obsession further, I even flew to Korea and went to Kintex to see the exhibition about his drama and went to EVERY drama scenery place…You may look at it here https://annedarmawan.com/day-1-5-jan-15/

But, I still choose to drop this drama… (It’s that bad for me!).. Maybe you have a different view than I do.. But, come on… This is nothing compare to Love from Another Star…. Such a big disappointment..

Review: 3/10

Well.. That’s all the Korean drama which I have watched during 2016 Q1.. It’s less than the Chinese / Taiwan drama because I think this year Chinese Mainland is Q1 rising star!!! Just look at Nirvana in Fire!!!! and you will now what I mean..

Thanks and hope you are enjoying my review…

My New Drama Obsession – 2016 Q1 (Chinese / Taiwan Edition)

Hi All.. It’s been so long not to catch up with you.. First, I have been “so called” busy with work and second, my weekend always passes by before I know it.. I don’t know why there are only 24 hours in a day.. I wish there are 48 hours so we can watch drama for the extra 24 hours.. 🙂

Anyway.. Enough chit chat.. We are here to talk about my favorite topic, dramas… Recently, there are few dramas which got me hooked… By hooked, I mean:

  1. I can’t sleep if I cannot finish the drama as soon as possible
  2. I eat in front of my television (which has become my habit lately)
  3. I started dreaming in Mandarin again (I used to have this during BBJX period and also when I watched My Fair Princess (Zhao Wei version) over and over..
  4. I stalked every blogger that write about this.. Recaps, Reviews, Synopsis, Character Stilts, etc etc… Literally everything!!!

That’s why even though I am very busy.. I can’t stop myself to write a post about this and brag it to everyone hoping that they would watch these dramas! Here we go!

1. The Nirvana in Fire 

Nirvana in Fire

First and foremost, allow me to talk about NIRVANA IN FIRE.. My highest obsession during 2016 – Q1..Ughhh.. I couldn’t stop talking about this drama to anyone who’s willing to listen.. Nirvana in Fire is the drama that got me speechless in a good way… I don’t know how to describe the magnificent of this work through a post..

Well.. I will start to describe my opinion about it… As you all know that I have been a romance theme fan forever.. You can name all the Chinese / Taiwan / Korean drama which has a good romance theme in it, I probably have watched them. But, Nirvana in Fire is the first non-romance theme (well, it has a little romance in it) but I love it more than any of my romance theme drama.

The cast, the cinematography, the plot, the twist and even the bromance have just made me falling in love with Chinese drama all over again. For you drama lovers who have not watched this, I recommend you to START WATCHING IT NOW! I mean it guys…

For synopsis, you can find it at Wikipedia.. They describe it quite well.. For overall review, I recommend that you visit http://www.dramapot.com and http://thefangirlverdict.com/. I love their reviews so much… For recap, you can visit Heisui at http://www.mydramatea.com and for the character stilts, you can visit JoleCole at http://jolecole.blogspot.co.id/

For now, I still haven’t got over my feeling about this drama.. I simply can’t move on.. So, if anyone wants to talk about NIF, I will be gladly accompany you anytime any day.

Review: 20/10 (I literally mean it)

2. The Disguiser 

The Disguiser

If you love the bromance in Nirvana in Fire, you will love the one in The Disguiser even more… The three brothers relationship is by far the most “eye candy” to watch.. Their relationship stay deeply in my heart and I am obsessed.. Season 2, please come.. I am waiting for you..

Review: 10/10

3. Battle of Changsha

Battle of Changsia

In this drama, Wallace Huo is good at portraying his character and the leading lady is even more likable.. We fell in love with the family as they grew.. We also cried with them during their bad times… Most importantly, even after finished watching; we still remember every single member in the family… I miss watching their interaction with each other..

I deducted 2 points in the review because as a similar genre Chinese – Japanese war, this is not the best… I really like Infernal Lover by Mike He and I also like other series with Nicky Wu in it… But, overall.. It’s worth to watch…

Review: 8/10

4. Journey of Flower 

Journey of Flower

I am a big fan of the condor heroes series… From The Legend, Return and then to “Heaven Sword and Dragon Sabre”.. Besides that, I am really picky when it comes to watch Wuxia. It’s not that I don’t enjoy them but sometimes, I am just becoming too dreamy that I really want to do those material arts too.. (LOL)..

Well, allow me to start with my honest confession (Please don’t hate me for this): I wasn’t a big fan of Wallace Huo until I watched The Journey of Flower. Even back in the days, I skipped to watch interesting dramas if I saw him as a lead actor.. I just hate the way he treats women.. Maybe I got too carried away when he ditched Dong Fai Bu Bai…

My feeling change when I watched The Journey of Flower. I like this drama so much even though I hated the ending.. Give it a watch and you know what I mean.. This drama is a page turner for me.. I watched the ending episode 3 times now and I am still crying during a certain scene.. (Don’t want to give you a spoiler here).. But for those who have watched it, I think you know which one I am talking about…

From the actor that I avoided the most, to the actor that I am anticipated his future drama.. Wallace is that good in this series.. If you are a Wuxia fan.. You should give this a watch!!!!! It’s a classic!

**Spoiler: I’d rather Xiao Gu to died in his arm rather than having a weird happy ending.. 

Review: 8/10

4. Love me if you dare 

Love me if you dare

I love Wallace in this drama.. The drama is quite systematic and I like every single case that they worked together.. It’s by far one of Wallace Huo’s best drama… The leading lady is not so bad too.. They collaborated well in this drama..

Review: 7/10

5. Strange Hero Yi Zhi Mei 

Strange Hero Yi Zhi Mei

I dropped this after watching episode 5-6.. I just didn’t buy the whole story.. Too bad because Liu Shi Shi’s character is by far the most unique one.. She is such a bad ass in the story… But still, it doesn’t keep me hooked in my sit..

Review: 4/10

6. Wei Zi Fu 

Wei Zi Fu

I have re watched this drama for the third time and I still love it… My favorite character is not the leading character (Wei Zi Fu).. Instead, I love Princess Pi Yang.. She looks very royalty in this series and I love how she can handle every situation.. She is always the commander in the room and I love how she protects Wei Zi Fu due to his husband legacy at the end… Truly spectacular drama…

Review: 9/10

7. The Legend of Mi Yue 

Legend of Mi Yue

I have a thing about ancient period Chinese Drama which tells a story about life in the palace.. I almost watch every single one available. For Legend of Mi Yue, it’s not good but it’s not so bad either.. Sun Li is amazing as always.. But, I just don’t buy the overall story..

Review: 6/10

8. Sound of the Deserts 

Da Ma Yao

I have the DVD since forever but I haven’t got a will to watch it.. Even my colleague has borrowed them for me and returned it months ago and I still didn’t pick it up to watch the drama..

I have been back and forth about whether or not to watch this drama. Because before Nirvana in Fire and The Disguiser, I wasn’t a big fan of Hu Ge.. I have seen him in Legend of the condor heroes with Ariel Lin and didn’t “really” like his acting back then.. For me, he was only “average”.. But NOW…. He’s my one TRUE absolute FAVORITE and I will stalk his every drama from now on.. I have to be honest with you.. Seeing him in a similar costume like the one he wore in NIF did heal my heart a little bit. At least, I get to see my potrait of Mei Chang Su from another drama..

As for Da Mo Yao, I am more with Team Mo Xun… It was heart breaking not seeing them together at the end.. Although I already had a hunch that LSS will be with Eddie Peng (I don’t want to write their characters because I am still sad for Mo Xun), I still have my every little hope that at least Mo Xun will get Xin Yue back… But, I think.. once missed, will always be missed… (^___^ tearyyyyy)…

But, for this drama I have ONE big complaint to the production house… It’s about the music / instrumental background.. Why they have to use the same music for every production.. You name it.. The Legend of Condor Heroes, Bu Bu Jing Xin, Da Mo Yao, Strange Hero Yi Zhi Mei… Why?? I can get it if they use the same music for 2 dramas (for the purpose of squeezing the budget).. But, if they are use for EVERY drama, it’s kinda annoying… I can’t even sympathize / concentrate with the some of the scenes because when I hear the music background, my mind automatically remembered BBJX / Legend of the Condor Heroes..

I don’t think it’s that hard for the production house to find someone to make the music background for Chinese periodic drama.. It is really easy to find and not very costly… I even can help them to find / propose some names if they need one.. Uggghh.. This is killing me… If only the music was good, the sensitive viewers like me would have immersed to the drama even more..

Overall, this drama is quite addicting!

Review: 9/10

9. Too late to say I love you A.K.A Endless Love

Too late to say I love you

I have been wanting to search something similar with Sealed with a Kiss.. I love the drama so much and I tend to follow Hawick Lau’s every drama every since.. And unfortunately, I am finding more than 10 crappy dramas and even “forced” to finish it just for the sake of Hawick Lau..

This drama is not as good as Sealed with a kiss but it has a couple of very intense kissing scenes and the story line is quite interesting. Definitely one of Wallace Cheung’s best drama..

Review: 8/10

10. You are my sunshine 

You are my sunshine

Typically Tang Yan’s drama and character.. The first 10 episodes are quite interesting because we are curious of what happened in the past… But, second half is not quite interesting anymore..

Review: 6/10

11. Lady and the Liar 

lady and the liar.jpg

I was waiting for this drama with the highest anticipation.. I saw the long trailer and got almost “obsessed” with it.. I even watched it over and over again… But, apparently I should watch the trailer instead of watching the whole drama… Like any bad Chinese drama,  the second half is painful to watch…

I mean.. This drama has Hawick Lau and Tony Yang right? What could go wrong???? Well, apparently, very poor written script / direct can make it go wrong…

Review: 6/10

12. Chronicle of Life 

Chronicle of life.jpg

Another crappy Hawick Lau’s art work.. I mean He can’t just pull off Kang Xi.. Kang Xi is considered to be the best Emperor in all China along with Qian Long.. And here, he made as if Kang Xi has no intelligence and is ready to be killed by anytime and anyone who is willing to try for it…

It’s such a shame because this drama has so much potential.. Bad bad bad direction!!

Review: 5/10

13. The cage of love 

cage of love

I like the couple’s chemistry in here much more than the one in Chronicle of Life.. Even the female lead is not my favorite, this drama is till bearable to watch….

Review: 7/10

14. Perfect Couple 

Perfect Couple.jpg

Hm… I am so / so about this drama.. If you have any spare time, might be a good choice to watch it.. But definitely it’s not something I easily remember..

Review: 7./10

15. Marry me or not

Marry me or not

Everyone.. Roy Chiu is baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaackkk!!!!!!! And still handsome I have to say…. I like this drama a lot even though it’s not a kick ass quality.. I just love their chemistry like the one in Office Girl.. I love them, love them, love them… The kissing scene is super hot too by the way.. And I like the proposal ending (Ups.. Spoiler alert)… This drama is very relaxing to watch..

Review: 9/10

16. Go Princess Go (Web Drama) 

Go princess go

I really save the best for last, ain’t I????? I love this hilarious series so much… I couldn’t remember when I was laughing this much… Everything comes together.. The weird costumes, the odd settings, the colors, are just so very pleasant to watch.. I love Zhang Peng Peng character so much that I want to be her besties… If you haven’t watched this series, I truly recommend this series to you…. There are different endings to this drama but I just don’t care despite the weirdness.. This drama is that good… I just love the process watching episode per episode… P.S: This drama isn’t so shy about the kissing / bed scenes either..

Review: 15/10

So, that’s it for Q1 post… Hope that it gives you a heads up of what drama should you see… Overall, I totally recommend EVERYONE on earth to watch Nirvana in Fire and The Disguiser, especially if you are able to understand Mandarin.. It’s truly the drama you shouldn’t missed!

Judging a book from its cover

make over

Don’t worry.. This isn’t a post about a diet pill ad or to share any successful stories how I have become thinner.. I’m still who I am in a shape that hasn’t changed for the past 30 years..

For anyone who hasn’t read my blog before.. My name is Anne and I am working as a Recruitment Manager in one of the private companies in Jakarta.. I have been doing this for the past 4-5 years and so far I am quite enjoying them…

If you ask me what makes me “good” at this job is because…

I might have a good eye when screening so many applicants. Just by looking at the photo, I usually can tell what type of jobs will fit the person or can she be hired to the organization which I am working at the moment..

Yes.. part of my job requirement is to be able to screen people through CVs quite fast and this sort of making me to “judge a book from its cover”..

Many companies (not the one I am working for of course since they have hired me) have certain “physical” criteria when hiring employees especially front liners for banking / any sales person. They require “beautiful” applicants with nice figures and so on.. They have the common sense behind it of course. It makes sense for a company to hire attractive employees in order to sale their products / become their front liner.

However, yesterday.. Accidentally, I have experienced what it’s like to be on the other side.. “To be judged rather than to judge” And.. I am telling you that it sucks!

It’s not a good feeling when “certain” people just reject you before even meeting you just because of your appearance (not related to work of course)… It hurts my deep deep down feeling inside my heart..

I mean… Just because you are short, tall, have white skin, black skin, thin, big; it shouldn’t be a requirement for someone to look down on you, judging you and even cast you away..

This is by far one of the most bitter reality that I have to taste in life..

From now on… I would be very careful.. I would try to see all the applicants who have applied to our company and see them one by one for an interview session.. No more judging from its cover.. But, I will look more carefully more to their expertise if I have to decide not to continue them for an interview session.. Again, why would any recruiters call an MD degree for an Architect vacancy post?

This probably is the best I could do for now knowing that this pain is truly killing who I really am..