This post was written somewhere in March 2013.
Today, I finally able to say a 5 years old pending “I am sorry”..
I like to watch many Taiwanese Dramas lately.. I will post and let you guys know my opinions about them later on..
From each drama, I finally learn that I should be able to say “Dui Bu Ji, Wo Cuo Le” which means I am sorry, I was wrong. Before, I was too stubborn, too pride and too self righteous to admit the truth about everything..
Actually, “Dui Bu Ji, Wo Cuo Le” is the sentence which I really want to say directly to him but I am afraid to disturb his peaceful life. After all, I am the only person who cannot let it go for the past 5 years, not him. He has able to let it go years ago and met someone better.. My voice contact would make such a huge distraction to him..
Fiuf.. my heart really feels calmer and better. Even the gastric pain is now slowly to get healed.. I can even hear the Halleluyah Chorus.. 🙂
I truly wish that my apology will at least will make his heart happier, and get the final needed closure I should given him years ago.. I just wish to give him the final pieces for our puzzles.. Nothing less and nothing more to hope..
Allow me to give you an advice should you guys have hurt your spouse’s heart. Kindly apologize immediately.. Don’t become as stupid as I am.. Needed 5 years to finally get a sense of myself.. Cen de (really), loosing our soulmate is BU CE DE (not worth it).. The price is just too high and will rip both hearts apart.. Finding a person whom you love and love you back is not easy and very valuable..
However, if any of you dumb enough to act like I did and wait a long time to apologize, here are few tips:
1. Find the courage and apologize NOW.
Yes, now and don’t wait until one of you are no longer exist in the same world.. Your spouse might have forgiven what you did a long time ago.. It’s you who has not been able to forgive yourself.. Well in my case, I finally know that should I had apologized 5 years ago, the reality might have been different now..
2. If your spouse is still single and you are still in love with the him, chase him back..
Do everything!! Win his heart and let him know that you have done all the mistakes not out of love but due to love.. We are not perfect and we never will.. However, true love is always perfect.. Should his heart has already changed its course, bless him and leave him peacefully.. Cu fu ta… After all, the most important thing is not for you is not to be with him but his happiness instead.. We are already stupid enough to hurt him once, don’t hurt him again for the sake of selfish love..
3. If your spouse is already in a relationship or even married, just leave him an “I am sorry email”.
Don’t call to his cellphone, don’t contact him personally on his house phone, don’t text him or even ask him to meet you.. It will only disturb his peaceful life.. He’s now already happy.. You may think that his current GF is not the right partner to be with.. You even think that you can give him even a bigger happiness. But, this is not our right to judge anymore.. It is his call.. If your spouse is unhappy, He would left her or even leave her in the future.. However, don’t disturb their happiness just because you want to say “I am sorry”.. Just give him an email or any contacts whom the partner will not look accidentally in the present or in the future..
4. Try to let go, forgive yourself and find your own happiness.
I know that stop loving your spouse may not be an option right now.. I totally understand.. It’s the same case as in my love life.. However, you can try other thing which has hold you back before to make you happy such as go on a holiday or even go to your favorite restaurant. You may not able to do this before because you are afraid that it might remind you of him. But, the ability for us to remember him is actually the greatest gift. The pain will remind you that you were once loved..
Well, if you think any of the advice doesn’t work, you may contact me directly to my email at firstname.lastname@example.org. I know what it feels to not having somebody to talk to.. You are afraid should you disclose your true feelings to any of your close friends, they might treat you differently or even your problem would become a burden to them.. No matter, you can share your story with me.. I will try my best to listen..
Fiuh.. As of today, I truly hope that may all beings be happy..