Part 1: My side of the story (Kevin)
I just got a call from May. She asked me to meet up at one of her favorite club, Immigrant. She has booked the VIP section as always.
“Sit down” said May.
For those of you who don’t know her, let me tell you something. May doesn’t have a very good “friend-skill”. She has been lonely and friendless for a long time. She is very similar like her mother. I thought she was going to be Wong’s commander in chief, not Christian. She is very uptight because of the different treatment she has had compare to June. She was the one who had all the other pressure from the beginning. Her mom was tough on her. I have learnt for myself that when dealing with May, the best thing you can do is to listen and never argue. Although she looks bossy sometimes, she has one of the biggest heart in the world.
“Cindy has made an announcement that Ruby and Rudy are finally getting engaged. Have you given her a congratulations?” said May again
I am looking at May. I know that she has some feelings for me, maybe tried to get me give up about Ruby. But this joke is just outrageous!
I am raising my voice when talking to her “Don’t make that kind of joke!!”
May says “Kev, I sincerelly hope that it’s only a joke… Because I know where your heart is.”
She is suddenly reaching a phone and dialing a number.
“I will put this on loud speaker so that you can hear with your own ears.” Said May
May: Hello! Chris! Where are you?
Chris: I am at home. Where are you? We have plenty of things to do. We need help!
May: I am somewhere near home. Chris, is it really true that Ruby is finally deciding to get engaged with Rudy?
Chris: Yes.. You know that already… The two of them announced it yesterday, two days after Rudy went out from the hospital. Where are you anyway? You should be here helping us.
May: Don’t worry where I am right now! I will try be there as soon as I can. Bye!!
May is hanging up the phone and looking at me “Did you hear it properly?”
I don’t know a word who can describe what I am feeling right now. My world just fell apart… May was right. They are getting engaged. How is this even possible? Why did they have to get engage? I thought Ruby has made herself clear. She has told me that she chose me. What made her change her mind? Didn’t see love me? Didn’t she ask me to take her away? Why?… Why……. Did I miss understood her signal? No.. I didn’t miss understood. She asked me to take her away few days ago. She wanted to go with me.. Did Rudy trick her into this? Did something happen?
“Kev, are you okay?” asked May
The two of us are sitting long enough until there’s a waiter coming in and speaks to us. Apparently, I have been talking to myself inside my heart for hours. I have been thinking mainly about three things. One “Is this true?”, Then “What was the reason” and “Did she truly pick me before?”
“Pak, Bu… We are closing in 15 minutes..”
I am looking at the clock.. It’s 3.45 AM.
May says “In case you didn’t notice. We have been here, not speaking for the last 6 hours,”
I am looking at her and say “I am sorry.. Let’s get you home…”
May shouts “No! Sit down! Let’s talk about it!”
I reply to her “What is there to talk? You were the one who told me that she is getting engaged. I am going to her house now to ask her directly.
“Don’t be a fool! It’s almost 04.00 AM in the morning.” Said May
“It’s okay! I will wait at the door until she opens up for me. Let’s go!”
I am driving May home and then go to Ruby’s apartment right away. I am sitting in front of her apartment door. Finally at 08.30 AM, she opens the door to go to her office.
She seems surprise that I am sitting on the floor outside her apartment.
“Kev, what are you doing here? How long have you been here? I mean… Why didn’t you knock before?” asked Ruby
I am looking at her. My feeling is exploding. I couldn’t bear not to stay near her. I have been missing her like crazy since I heard the engagement news. I am pulling her hand and hug her tightly. I know that I am not supposed to forcely hug her like this but I just couldn’t help it.
“Please tell me that It is is not true… Please tell me that you are not getting engaged with him… Tell me.. Tell me Rub…. ”
Ruby doesn’t say anything. It’s a good sign that she lets me hug her. But, why I couldn’t feel her hands around my waist? I am looking down and seeing that her hands are both inside her pocket.
“Is it true?” asked I once again. I am releasing her body and looking at her. Her eyes are teary. Suddenly, there’s a man’s voice behind me.
“It’s true. We are getting engaged soon. Please get your hands off my fiance. I am now picking her up to try out our engagement dress. Cing, come on. I have been waiting downstairs for so long.”
Ruby is following Rudy without saying anything. I can’t accept this. I need to hear this from her. I am grabbing her other hand. She is now in the middle of Rudy and I.
“Rub, tell me.. Are you getting engage with Rudy? Does this mean that we are over? You told me before that it’s me whom you have chosen before. Tell me that this is not true!!!”
Her eyes are still teary. Finally after a long pause she is looking straightly to my eyes and say
“It’s true. We are getting engaged. Please let go of my hand as I need to go…”
She is shaking her wrist to let go of my grip. I can’t hold her anymore. She’s not mine anymore
She is walking with Rudy to the elevator. My heart is ripping apart and I am calling her name and while the elevator is closing my hearts says
“Rub, I love you.”
She stops walking for a while but continue to go in to the elevator without looking back at me.
I don’t want to go to the office. I don’t want to see everybody congratulate them and say that they look good together. Where should I go? Back to my apartment? No, I have to chase them. I have to stop her. I need to fight more for her. I am pressing the elevator button. The number at the top shows that the elevator is still going down. I am running to the emergency and run down the stairs. Why am I so stupid? Why didn’t I agree with her before when she asked me to take her away with me? I shouldn’t think differently. I thought I could repay Christian by pretending to be Uncle Wong’s ally and be with Ruby. If I knew this is going to happen, I wouldn’t care about Wong Enterprise. Finally, I am at the ground floor. Apparently, both of them are just about to go inside the car.
“Wait!! Rub…. I’ll take you… I will take you go… Let’s leave all of this and go….”
Ruby is looking at me. She is standing at the door. My heart is pounding so fast and hoping that she can only leave with me. She is glancing sadly towards me. At the end, she is giving me a very cold look and then come inside the car with Rudy.
I don’t care what people think when they see me chasing her down the road. The car is moving forward but I keep running to chase it. No, she can’t be someone else’s. Why was I stupid? I can repay Christian’s kindness in some other way.
“Ruby… please stop…. please stop…………………… Wo ai ni… Wo cen de hen hai ni……”
Part 2: What is love? (May)
I have spent many days sitting in Kevin’s apartment. Although my works are pilling up to the point I don’t even know which to do first and which to throw it all away. I have never seen Kevin like this! Not even when he lost his parents, or broke up with Lily or even when he had to sign the abortion paper and lost his first child with the woman he loves.
I have to admit that I have been having a crush for him since forever. He’s my first crush. I can’t say the word love yet since I have never experienced that ever. If I put myself in Kevin’s shoes, Rudy’s shoes, Christian’s shoes or even Ruby’s shoes; their reciprocate of the word “LOVE” is just too painful. It’s certainly not for me.
Anyway, enough from my side. I couldn’t understand for all this time why the boys were over the moon with Ruby. But, I began to have a bit of understanding yesterday when she asked to meet me at one of the coffee house. The conversation was as cold as I usually speak to any people who are unfamiliar with me.
Ruby: How are you May? It’s nice to finally able to talk to you in person. I was using your identity before when I was in Sydney as instructed by your brother and cousin. I am sorry if it brought you any invonvenience.
Me: It’s okay. What is it that you want to talk about?
Ruby: It’s about Kevin and Rudy.
Me: You know that I don’t like to get involve in your love life. It’s not my business anyway.
Ruby: I know. But, You are the only one who can help me at the moment.
Me: Why do you think I would help you?
Ruby: Because we care about the same person. It’s Kevin. Soon, he will need your help.
Me: Ok.. tell me more..
Ruby: I have decided to get engaged with Rudy. I know that this is a shocking news. Besides Cindy, you are the first person to know this.
Me: Ok… then?
Ruby: Kevin will soon be devastated. Can you please stay by his side? I am afraid that he’ll go under depression or even will try to do something reckless.
Me: If you are choosing Rudy, why do you still care about Kevin?
Ruby: I asked Kevin to end all of the Wong company intrigue and took me away with him. He’s the one I love, the one I chose to be with. But, He was also the one who rejected me. I guessed he has some other priorities which are way more important rather than being with me only.
Me: I don’t understand..
Ruby: I asked Kevin to leave your Dad and leave his title so that Christian and Rudy could have their rightful company back. I can’t watch him to be against any of you. I have owed Rudy my life. I have owed your family a lot of things, especially to Christian.
Me: So, you chose to be with Rudy because you want to get back at Kevin?
Ruby: No.. not at all..
Me: Why then?
Ruby: I couldn’t watch Rudy’s health is in jeapordy. I can’t watch Christian, Cindy, June and yourself working too hard to achieve that “impossible” target. I better sacrifice my own happiness than risking Rudy’s health. Do you understand?
Me: Yes.. It sounds noble but… are you sure that this is something you want to do?
Ruby: Yes.. I am sure. I have been selfish all a long. I have been given many supports from everyone. Now, it’s my turn to pay you guys back.
Me: Does Rudy know about this? Did he let you to be with him even though he knows that you didn’t love him?
Ruby: Don’t worry about it.. That part, I will handle it well. I won’t hurt his feeling. Even though I don’t have possess the same feeling for him now, I will be a responsible spouse. I will learn to love him in sickness and in health. I will respect him.
Me: How about Kevin?
Ruby: He had chosen to be against all of you. He had also chosen not to take me away with him. The only thing I can do now is to make sure that he’ll pass the griefing moment and move on. He can’t pass through that alone. That’s why I am asking for your help. Even though I haven’t known you in person, I know that you truly care for him.
Me: What if I say no?
Ruby: You’ll say yes.
Ruby: Because you are May Wong.
She is leaving the table, leaving me behind all alone. Suddenly, I can’t believe myself for saying this but at the end, I have to give her a credit.
“yes…” she replied
“It’s a pity I didn’t know you sooner without the Kevin drama. Perhaps, we could indeed become friends…”
She is turning her head and says
“I believe we’ll become more than just good friends. Bye May.. Take care of him, ok?”
I am nodding my head and watch this extraordinary woman to walk away.
Now, I am back at this apartment fulfilling my promise to Ruby. I am staying beside Kevin who is in deep mess currently.
“Why are you still doing here?” asked Kev
“Leave now! Leave me alone! All of you just leave me alone!” said him repeatedly.
Kevin has been drinking for the past few days. He also has repeated to say the same thing over and over again. I can make a list of his top five frequent sentences which are:
Ruby, I love you…
Ruby, please forgive me…
I am sorry… I never thought that you were hurt…
Leave now or go away!
The first four is of course for Ruby and the last one is for me. At last, I can’t take it anymore. I am going inside the bathroom to get some water inside my water bottle. I am splashing the water to Kevin’s head. I hope this can make him to become sober.
“I had no idea why I used to have a crush on you!!! You are so pathetic.. You fought for her in the wrong way! You are becoming useless for just a girl!!!”
Kevin is running inside the bathroom. I am guessing that he’s taking a shower. After he has finished, we sat down and have a long talk.
“I am sorry.. I didn’t mean to be rude to you all this time! I just had a rough time!” said Kevin
“It’s ok! I know..” said May
“There’s something you need to know. I have been wanting to tell you, June, Christian and Cindy about all of this. But, I thought it’s best for you guys to think that I am on Uncle Wong’s side. I never did anything to harm you guys. If I backed down from Uncle Wong’s offering, he’ll find somebody else who might hurt all of you. I never betray you from the start. I would never do such thing. You guys are the only family I have left.”
I am smiling at him and say “I don’t know about Christian and Cindy. But, June and I have known about this from the beginning.”
“How?” asked him
“Maybe… living together with you for years answer it all!”
We are laughing together. Deep inside my heart, I know that Rudy also knows about his act. He’s just that smart! But, he decided to take the advantage of using Ruby’s guilty feeling. Now, I am also using an advantage of Kevin. If Kevin knew the reason behind the engagement, everything might turn up differently. We have all our secrets. Maybe Ruby can get her happy ending with Rudy too.
We are talking and talking about our past life, Christian and Cindy, and also everybody. Sadly, after five hours of our conversation, the point is still crystal clear that Kevin still cannot let go of Ruby.
Part 3: Preparation for the “DAY” (Ruby)
Inside the car, I cannot stop crying. If only everything is backward. I am looking back and realizing that Kevin is running to chase me. What is he doing? He could get hurt!! Rudy is suddenly holding my hand.
He says “Do you want me to tell the driver to stop the car? We can cancel the engagement. Now, it’s not too late.”
I am looking at him. I just don’t want to hurt him again and send him back to the hospital due to over heavy work. I just need to pull myself together and commit with my own decision.
“It’s okay! Nothing will change.. Please tell the driver to drive faster. Let’s go to try our outfit for the engagement.” Replied I.
“Cing, you know what? I never see your smile again since the day at the hospital when you told me that you are willing to marry me. I don’t want you to be unhappy.”
“You are thinking too much! I am happy! I am lucky to have you… Maybe, I am just too tired of the overload work we had earlier. Now is so much simpler Cindy and Christian is taking care of everything. I am just the happy bride to be now.”
Rudy is smiling at me. He is puting his hand around my shoulder and have my head to rest on his shoulder. He says
“I will make you the happiest bride in the world. Happiness is the only word which will dance in our future life as the bride and groom.”
While resting my head, I can’t help to shed another tear, hoping that I can let go of Kevin, hoping that he’s alright.
The next few days have been crazy with the art exhibition, engagement, and jewelry exhibition at the same time. All of the top employees have also monitored these projects closely. Lots of sponsors have been participating to this event. At least my prediction was spot on! Engagement or wedding is the only event which can attract sponsors, media, and gain huge boosting revenue at the same time.
Today, I am having my “Bachelorette” Party with the three musketeers. Although bachelorette party is a party for pre wedding not pre engagement, they are still insisting for having it with me. Matthew has booked a Karaoke room for the four us to sing, eat, drink and dance until morning.
The party is going great… I have a lot of fun.. We are singing, dancing and laughing until we are all tired and decided to play our favorite games, deck cards. We used to play “Capsah” which the rule is very similar to poker. And then Amy suddenly has in idea of playing truth and dare for the loosers. Funny and ridiculous things have been brought up such as asking Matthew to dance, Karren to spill out the truth about her childhood secret. At last, it’s my turn to lose. It’s Karren’s turn to challenge me with turth or dare.
“I chose truth!” said Karen
“What is it you want to know?” asked I
“Rub, tell me honestly… Are you happy? Did you not love Kevin anymore? Amy told me that it’s Kevin whom you had chosen and loved. Why did you suddenly make a decision to get engage with Rudy?”
I am looking at Karen, Amy and Matthew. Out of the sudden, I am bursting into tears… I am crying like a baby.. I don’t know why but as if I had held this up for a long time. The three of them finally come near me. They are all saying
“It’s okay.. We are here with you… It’s okay…”
The night went by with a lot of cry at my end.
I am getting up and going straight to my window. I didn’t get drunk last night but I just don’t feeling well. I am touching my forehead and realize that my temperature went up a bit. It’s heavily raining in Jakarta. My phone is ringing and it turns up that it’s Cindy. She said that the invitations are ready. She already prepared for the guest list. She’s sending extras to my apartment in case I want to deliver the invitations personally to my close relatives.
“I haven’t sent him any invitation. I thought you want to give that on your own. But, I can do it for you if you need my help” said Cindy.
“It’s okay! I will do it by myself.” said I bravely…
Cindy was talking about Kevin. I know that I have to do this… I can do this.. It’s like ripping a ban-aid.. It’s quick and painful.. I know that he must hated me for what happened few days ago.
I am dialing Kevin’s number. After a while, he finally picks up the phone. I am asking to meet him at te park near my apartment. It wouldn’t be wise to invite him in at the apartment. I am taking out my white umbrella and walk to the park with the invitation at my hand.
From the distance, I can already see Kevin walking towards me with a black umbrella. The two of us are becoming quit and quiter than we used to. A lot of starring at each other with no conversations.
Finally, I am bracing myself to begin our conversation. However, before I am starting to speak up, I cannot stop noticing on his current condition. He looks really awful, as if he hasn’t slept or even showered.
“Kev, how are you?”
“I am good. How are you?”
“I am good…. I want to give you this…” said I carefully. I know that he must feel as painful as what I am feeling right now.
“You don’t have to come.. I just don’t want you to receive this via post. After all, you are one of the closest few people I have in life. Just do whatever makes you comfortable.”
Kevin and I are both crying. He says “Does it need to go this way? Can I get a second chance? I know that Rudy is a good guy but until now, I can’t let myself willing to let you go. I just can’t Rub…”
The raining becomes heavy and heavier. Thunderstorm is all over the place, as if the sky understands our sorrow and send us the rain to participate to cry.
“Love is indeed unfair since the beginning, especially to my life… Why? Why when fell in love with someone, God always pushes him to be away from me… Maybe, I am such a bad person that I don’t deserve a most basic happiness in the world which is to love and to be loved.”
Kevin is crying with me. We are moving even closer towards each other. He says
You always now how I feel from the beginning…
Of my faithfulness heart on deeply loving you…
Vain hopes that I’ve long, finally become true but why does it have to end so soon…
Every single second, I can’t stop myself from loving you…
You have made me fully falling in love with you …
Opening my heart…
Untie my feeling that hides deeply inside my heart…
How can I tie myself again and undo my feelings to love you?
I can’t take this anymore. My head spins even more than before. It maybe because of the drinks yesterday night but I am having a severe headache… I need to go as soon as possible. I might faint later on. I don’t want Kevin or anyone else to worry about me.
“I have to go…” I am handing in the invitation to his hand.
I am walking towards the opposite direction.. walking and walking… until I lost my conciousness…
I open my eyes and realize that I am already in my room. There’s something against my forehead. It’s in fact a wet towel. I tried to to get up and recall the last thing happened to me. I stop thinking when I hear some voices outside my room. I am walking to the door and see that Rudy and Kevin are sitting and having a conversation.
Kevin: I am sorry that I had to carry her here. I know that she’s soon going to be your fiance. Don’t misunderstood her. She only came to see me to give this invitation.
Rudy: Why did she faint?
Kevin: I don’t know. She might be too tired. She had a bit of fever… But don’t worry.. It will end soon. After your engagement, everything will be clearer and she will not have any other burden anymore. Neither do you. I wish the two of you the best. I can’t come to your engagement party. I am sorry… I just can’t witness her getting engaged with you..
Rudy: It’s okay. I also can’t imagine if this happens otherwise. It might be ackward.
Kevin: Take care of her, okay?
Kevin is leaving the living room to go outside to the apartment. Suddenly, Rudy is asking Kevin
“Kev, do you still love her?”
Kev is turning his head and says “Yes.. I do love her very much… I love her to the point that I can’t breathe normally without her..”
Rudy is asking him again “Is she the most important thing in your life?”
Kevin says “Yes… Nothing is more important than her.”
Kevin continues to say “Ruby is a good girl, in fact the best girl I’d ever met in my life. Please don’t hurt her like I did… Don’t make her cry, don’t make her sad… She deserves all the happiness in life… Rud, I finally can say that… you won… ”
Kevin is opening the the door to leave. Rudy doesn’t speak another word again.
For me, I can only cry again inside my room, pretending not to hear anything.
“Kev… I am sorry…. I am sorry that it will have to end this way…..”
I am pretending to be sleeping when Rudy opens my bedroom door. After a few hours, he is lighting up the light and waking me up.
“Are you still feeling tired? I want to take you somewhere?”
I am opening my eyes and say
“Yes.. Do you want to go somewhere to eat? You can go ahead without me.. I am not hungry..”
“No.. I want to take you somewhere.. It’s really important…”
Rudy is driving the car without telling me the destination. He’s playing his favorite CD which all of them was played by me using piano. I gave him this CD when we were dating. By looking at the exit toll, I might be able to guess where he is planning to take me.
“Are we going to the…?”
“Yes.. we are going to ride the Ferris Wheel. Did you remember what happened the last time?”
I am thinking about the night we spent before. I truly remember every single detail.
“You took me to your apartment, asked me to try the wedding dress. You took me to ride the ferris wheel and we danced all night Afterwards, you are taking me to the beach where you had built a castle for me. There, you told me that this how you would propose to me.”
“Ya.. But that night became our farewell night.. You chose Anthony over me and Christian. Remember?”
“Yes.. But, why are we going to ride the ferris wheel now?”
“You will find out later.”
Same as before, the ferris wheel is empty. There are no other people beside us after 09.00 PM. I wonder whether Rudy has arranged this prior to tonight. We are finally reaching the top and he is hugging me from the back.
He says “Cing, open your eyes and let me know what you see.”
“I am seeing the night view of Jakarta. It fulls of lights. They are more beautiful than before.”
“You are wrong..”
I am trying to turn my body and ask him why.. But, he has outspeed me with his explanations.
“What you see is my entire world. I live in the universe full of people. They are beautiful but there’s none of them whom I love and care. I don’t have my mother anymore. Even though Christian, June and May are my family, I never able to love them. I respect them and I would try to be the best brother I can be, but the truth is they are still strangers for me. Everything I own and afraid to loose is within my embrace. But Cing.. honestly.. I am still afraid that I would end up alone.”
I am touching both of his hands. I am whispering
“Rud, no matter what happen, I can promise you that you will never will be alone..”
Suddenly, there are fireworks in the sky. I am wondering how is this even possible.
“Cing…” said Rudy to me..
“I thought we are going to get engaged next week… Why did you ask again?”
“I know the true reason behind our engagement. But, I just couldn’t say no even though I know that you feel miserable inside. Let me make it up to you my whole life. I promise you that I will make you the happiest girl in the world.”
I can’t help but crying… I know that I don’t love him the right way yet.. But, I have to stay to my commitment..
Deep in side my heart, I know that this engagement comes with a big sacrifice from my heart. I finally give my answer to him
“I’ll marry you.. I will make you happy..”
Today is five days before the engagement. The closer it gets, the day just becomes more and more crazier. Cindy is even more busy than I am. Sometimes, I am feeling so bad to put her with so many works. I am knocking Rudy’s office and find that he’s talking on the phone with someone.
He is signaling me to come in and wait. After a while, he hangs up the phone and says
“What’s the matter honey?”
“Nothing.. I just want to ask your permission for me to leave early today.”
“What’s wrong? Are you feeling sick?”
He is getting up from his chair to come near me and touch my forehead.
“I am not sick at all.. It’s just there’s somewhere I need to go for the next two days.”
“Can I go with you? Where are you going?”
“No… I need to go alone.. Please give me some time to be alone.. Is it okay?”
“Cing, it’s not that I don’t want to give you some privacy. But, what happened in the past with you scared me a bit if you are going alone. All of them.. with the accident, memory lost, kidnapping, everything.. I am just scared.. Our engagement is soon. I don’t want to risk anything.”
“Don’t worry.. I will take care of myself. This is something I have to do. I can’t get engage with you without asking his permission.”
“I already asked your father permission. I came by to his place a couple of weeks ago. Don’t worry about it..”
“No.. it’s not my Dad.. I know that he’ll be supportive.”
“Then, who will you ask for permission?”
I am walking out from Rudy’s office before he is reacting to my decision. I know that he’s a bit surprise. I haven’t been to Anthony’s grave since a long time, not even when I was coming home earlier. It’s not because I have forgotton him. It’s just… going there is too painful for me. I am not sure I could bare the pain one more time. But, I can’t just get engaged with someone without coming to see him.
I told the driver to take me to Saint Diego Hills. Before we arrived there, I also asked for him to make a stop at the flower shop. We finally reach the place after 4 hours.
I am walking towards the funeral home. It’s beautiful out here. The weather is nice and the sun is always available to greet you every morning. When I die someday, I probably want to buried here too. I am about 10 meters distant from Anthony’s grave and I already start to cry. All the memories are rushing back. All the childhood memories up until the night we kissed, the night we made love, the day of our wedding and even the day when he died.
“Thon… I am sorry that I haven’t come to see you for a very long time.. I know that you won’t believe when I told you that there was a time I didn’t even remember about us. It happened for more than two years when I lost my memory… Forgive me.. How can I forget about you? How can I not miss my best friend? How can….”
I couldn’t stop crying… I must be the most horrible person in the word. How can I forget about the person who loves me entirely? Who has been protecting me since I was a todler?
I am starting to tell all the stories since the accident day. The whole truth until I leak out the way I really feel about the engagement
“You know… Kevin has made me to truly deeply falling in love with me. I don’t understand why. He has deceived me, he gave up on me when I was pregnant, his ex girl friend got me to lose a child, he lied to me many times…. But, I still love him… I just can’t stop loving him… What should I do? How can I erase these feelings inside?”
I am crying like a baby for maybe the next few hours. I continue to say “What should I do?”. Usually, Anthony tells me what to do but this time, he’s no longer here to speak to me. For the first time in a long time, I am feeling powerless.
Suddenly, there’s a man with a very familiar voice behind me who says
“Do you know that I have broken up my promise to Anthony? My first and and only promise to him.”
I am looking back to confirm whether I don’t over miss him and I start hearing things which are not real.
It’s in fact Kevin. But, why is he here? I don’t understand. How can he know that I would be here.
“Why are you here? How did you?”
He says “No. I don’t know that you would be here. I came here only to apologize to Anthony. I have failed to protect you, to make you happy, to be his replacement as your best man, your best friend. I came here to apologize to him that I had broken his promise even since I left his room at the hospital.”
He replies to me weakly “I promised him not to fall in love with you in a hard way and I failed to deliver. You know…… I never fall in love with a girl this way Rub.. I fell for you in the hardest way possible.”
I am looking at him and I know that I am feeling the same way too.
“What should I do Kev? What should I do?”
Kevin is looking at me and says “Choose me, run with me. Just like you said, let’s leave of all of things behind and run..”
I am finally beginning to feel angry.
I am shouting “Why didn’t you say this earlier when I asked you to take me? Now, everything is too late. I am going to get engaged with Rudy in the next few days. I can’t just leave him… I have to take all the consequences of my decisions. The decision I made because you didn’t choose to go with me before! The decision I have to made because you were hurting everyone I deeply care…”
“I am sorry okay.. I regret it the most. I never thought that you are going to get engaged with someone else. I didn’t know the pressure you were under. I am sorry… Please cancel it.. I can’t watch you to be with another man.. I just can’t…”
I know that I won’t be able to say no if he keeps begging me to choose him. My heart is too strong.
Now, it’s the time for me to run… I need to run away from him. I know that Kevin keeps chasing me. I can hear his voice clearly while saying “Stop.. don’t run!”
Finally, I can sense that Kevin has succeed to reach my hand. He’s hugging me from the back and says
“Please don’t go.. don’t run.. Today is maybe the day I have left to see you.. I will go back to Sydney on the day of your engagement. You will never see me again in a few days. Please… don’t run again.. Don’t run away from me now..”
My eyes are beginning to teary again. So, this is what Kevin has chose due to my engagement with Rudy. He finally chose to leave me and go back to Sydney. Why my heart is feeling unbelivably painful. Why is it aching so bad? I want to say please don’t go… don’t leave me but I can’t
He says “I really wish that the world is stop revolving now. I wish that time would stop right now.”
I am standing as if it has been freezed by a wizard. Kevin is letting go of the hug and he is now in front of me. He’s touching my right cheek and says
“You are all I have and you are all I care left in this world.”
He is leaning his face towards me closer and closer. I know that I couldn’t have the strength to move but I can’t do this. I am Rudy’s future fiance. I have said yes to his proposal few days ago. Finally, I am braved enough to take a few steps back and says
“I am sorry.. I have been here long enough… Rudy must be looking for me..”
I am running down the hill up until I cannot control my breathing rhythm. I know that I just left Kevin with a broken heart, just as broken as mine.
Kevin is shouting from a distance “Rub… I won’t give up… I will wait for you…. Forever…”
Part 4: The Mirror has two Faces (Cindy)
I am sitting near the pool, waiting for Christian to finish his laps. I am still very sad that everything is not ending up right for everybody I care, especially with Ruby and Kevin. Why can’t they end up together? They have been through so much. Why can’t they have a happy ending? Tomorrow is the engagement day
“What are you thinking right now?” asked Christian
“I am just thinking that everything has fallen into the wrong place again and again. Ruby is getting engaged with Rudy. You know that Kevin is the one she loves. Kevin is being everyone’s enemy because He is helping Uncle Wong. If you really think about it, it’s his right to get a job.”
“Ya.. But he shouldn’t choose a job that has the main job description to be against us.”
“Ya…. If you said that it might sound bad but he won the job fair and square. It’s you Dad whom we hate, not him. Chris, do you regret letting go Ruby and be with me?”
Chris is getting up from the pool, drying his hair and says “Why did you ask me that? Are you jealous because I still care a great deal about her?”
I reply “No.. It’s not that.. It’s just… I don’t know.. Sometimes, I can sense that you are still thinking about her a lot.”
Chris replies “Is that so obvious?”
“Maybe no to anyone else. But, don’t forget! I have been by your side since many many years. I can notice certain things other might overlook.”
He is smiling at me and says “There will be a time to tell you the truth about everything. No, it’s not the time yet!”
I can’t help myself not to be jealous with Ruby but at some point, I can be sure about Christian’s feeling for me. Our love is not an over the moon love but it’s the one who’s steady enough to stay forever.
“What are you thinking?” said a voice behind me. I know it’s May’s voice.
“Nothing… I just….”
“Jealous with Ruby?.. I am familiar with the dillema.”
“Now.. I just…”
“doubting Christian’s feeling towards you?”
May is may. She is always able to read people’s mind. But, the bad thing about it is she always cuts what I want to say. She is so similar with her mother.
“Don’t get upset and you don’t need to get jealous! I don’t think Christian has ever had a serious feeling and gives his commitment to any girl besides you.”
“You are wrong. He was very serious when he was chasing Ruby.” Replied I
“I don’t think so. Maybe Ruby was the first girl to move his feeling, introduce him about crush, like, and love but it’s just a puppy love. It was never serious or should I say it has ended before it got into a mature relationship.”
“Ya.. I think so…”
May continues to say “But, unfortunately.. It’s different with Kevin… His relationship with was more than just a mature relationship. It’s been over a decade. It started of as a friend, and then best friend and then trusted friend, brother and ended up as lovers who have lived together for two years. Even though Ruby has had serious relationship with both Rudy and Anthony, it’s Kevin that she is totally attracted to. With Anthony, there’s just too much dependancy that the two of them together was just the most natural thing do to. With Rudy, he was her first real love and serious relationship but it has been over years ago.”
I am curious why May knows about this so much. She already replies my question
“I am close with Amy and June also has told me most part of her stories. Poor Ruby, if she has the couragd to confess what she felt with Kevin in Sydney, her life wouldn’t be so complicated and painful. “
“Don’t you dislike her?” I ask May curiously
“She is just impossible not to like. She is the most unselfish human being I’d ever met!”
“You are too” said I to May
“Actually, both of us are not. Kevin is the one who should get the award.” Said May
“Oh…. Tell me that you are not that stupid! You don’t buy that he’s REALLY helping my dad and betraying Christian, the brother he never has!”
“What do you mean?” I ask again
“Come on…. He’s not that great of an Actor. You had no idea that every steps he took in the company until now is just to cover for Christian? He took the job because he’s afraid that my Dad would hire someone else to harm Christian.”
“Does Ruby now about this? Does Rudy now also? How about Christian?” asked I
“I don’t think Ruby and Christian know. They are the two foolest human being I’d ever met. They think that a person can be easily defined by black and white. But, I am ready to bet everything I have that Rudy has already known about this from the beginning.”
“What do you mean? Do you mean that he took an advantage of this situation?”
May continue to says “That… I am still not sure. He’s not an open book. Sometimes, I just don’t understand his intention at all. One thing I am sure that Ruby is someone he is having the hardest time to let go.”
“So… we have been wrong all this time? Rudy is the bad guy? Not Kevin? And now.. He’s the one who will get engaged with Ruby?”
May is smiling and says “As someone wise once said the winner takes it all.”
I couldn’t stop thinking about what May just said before. What should I do? Tell Christian? No.. He wouldn’t be able to act wisely and it might affect Wong Enterprise if Mr. Wong has found out about this. What should I do? What…… Finally, I decide to call Rudy and have “THE TALK” with him.
We are meeting in one of the coffee shop far from his place.
Rudy: I know that you are going to call me.
Me: How do you know?
Rudy: As soon as you have found out that Kevin has in fact done a favor for Mr. Wong because he’s protecting Christian and his family, I know you will eventually reach me.
Me: So, is it true? You have known all of this and you have used Ruby’s guilt to get her to be yours.
Rudy: Is that so bad? Kevin has left her, lied to her, deceived her identity to have her Why can’t I use Ruby’s guilt to have her?
Me: So, you worked long hours for a purpose? You know that Kevin won’t truly help Mr. Wong.
Rudy: Yes… But, I did that also for my own actualization. I never lose a challenge, not once.
Me: So, you didn’t know that Ruby was willing to get engaged with you?
Rudy: Between yes and no… Not only with work, I also don’t want to lose over woman. I am the best fit for her. You know that…
Me: I thought so.. But, I don’t think so anymore. Ruby loves Kevin!! How can you seperate both of them? Ruby would become unhappy
Rudy: Look for what Kevin’s love has done for her. She was ill, she lost her memory and being deveiced, she even lost her first child. Did you know Ruby’s condition when I found her? She lived in a very small house. She even cleaned everything herself including doing laundry and everything.
Me: What do you think if Ruby found out that Kevin hasn’t betrayed the Wong’s and herself? Do you think that she’ll continue to marry you?
Rudy: Yes.. She will…
Me: How can you be so sure?
Rudy: Because I know her too well… She won’t leave me unless I decide to let her go..
Part 5: The Engagement Day (Rudy)
Today is my engagement day with the woman I love. I am looking at her in the dressing room. Someone is doing her make up. Even without any of it, she is already beautiful.
“Everyone, please leave me alone for a while” said Ruby
“Bu, we haven’t finished your make up yet… We have to get you ready in an hour.”
“Just leave the room for a few minutes. I need some time to be alone.. Go!”
I never see Cing cing being so straight forward or bossy with anyone. I continue to look at her. She is in fact crying..
I didn’t know that she is feeling so miserable about this engagement. I have been thinking about what Cindy said also. I know that I am holding her the wrong way. But, am I strong enough to finally let her go for good?
Suddenly, Cindy is beside me and she says “If you truly love her, you will let her to fly and search the happiness she wants and deserves. If you truly love her, you would have to let her go.”
Cindy is right. Ruby is willing to let go her happiness for me. Why can’t I do the same?
Yes.. It’s time… It’s time to let her go…
Cing cing is walking out from her room. Cindy and I are hiding so that she cannot see us. Apparently, she is asking for the make up team to go back and finish her make up.
Cindy says “Did you see? She still chose to sacrifice her happiness for you.”
“Where’s Kevin now?” I ask Cindy
“He’s probably already in the airport. Why?” asked Cindy
I am whispering to Cindy about my plan and she is leaving right away. Now, I know what to do..
Cing cing has finished her make up and she looks more beautiful than even when she was on her wedding day. I finally come in to her room. My eyes are teary as I know that this would be one of the last moment I have Ruby as mine.
“Leave us please” said I to everyone.
“Cing, you look beautiful… It’s not fair. A man can never have that big of transformation.”
She is looking at me and smiling.
I don’t know if I could able to handle this but I choose to say
“Let’s take a walk…”
“What are you doing? The event is less than an hour…”
“We have plenty of time in the world… Let’s take a walk..”
“You are the queen today and a queen is never late. Everyone else is simply too early..”
We are walking to the garden near the reception is heading. We chose that the event would be held in one of the Museum in Jakarta. It’s also alligned with the art exhibition where the paintings will be displayed inside the Museum.
“Cing, what made you to fall in love with me before?” I ask her
“I don’t know.. But, maybe I can be myself when I am around you. You saw me when I was invisible.”
“Did you remember when we emailed each other everyday? We haven’t even met back then.”
“Yes.. I do remember…”
“If I didn’t leave you to Germany and almost got married with Anna, do you think we would have been married and had kids right now?”
“Why did you suddenly ask all of this.. We are getting engaged today.. We will get marry soon too..”
“That’s the thing Cing.. my dear… We won’t…”
She is suddenly turning her body to see me and stops walking.
“What? What do you mean?”
“This time… I need to let go what isn’t mine from the first place.”
She is looking at me deeply and starts to cry. I know that I don’t have to explain throughly to her. After all, she is the only person who can understand me. But, I still want to give her my explanation.
“You know that I have to let you go because I love you.. not because of otherwise… I want you to be happy.. I don’t want to see you cry..”
“I can learn to love you Rud… I can learn to be the best wife for you, the best mother for our children.. I can…”
“Yes.. you can… and I know that you will… But, I don’t want you to be with someone you don’t love Cing.. Kevin is the person you love.. There’s something inside your heart that you haven’t been able to let go. I know that you are going to hide this feeling for Kevin forever but Love is Love. It cannot be hidden.. Not forever.”
She says “I am sorry….”
“No.. I am sorry…. I should have told you that Kevin only pretended to be against Christian in order to protect him. Thus, my position was never really in jeapordy. I am afraid that you will leave my side if I told you the truth from the beginning. I know that I never had a chance to win against Kevin. I saw how much you love him when you were in Surabaya.”
She is crying again and says
“Why did you choose to tell me then? I thought you wanted me to be with you…”
“I do… I always want you to be with me… But….”
“But what??” asked her
“But, it’s your heart who doesn’t want to be with me anymore. Your heart wants to be with the one she loves..”
She is crying and suddenly starts to hug me
“You know that you will always be more than just a friend for me? You are more than my own family. You are always something more…Rud, I have made a promise that you will never be alone.. And I stand by my promise… I will always be there for you.. I am willing to give up anything for your happiness.. I wish that you can understand that you are always my something more…”
I am also crying, kissing her forehead and saying
“Yes.. I know.. You will be my something more too.”
“Can I have my last dance with you?” asked I
“Yes… I still remembering when were dancing on the Ferris Wheel that night…”
She begins to sing along with me
Winter snow is falling down
Children laughing all around
Lights are turning on like a fairy tale come true
Sitting by the fire we made
You’re the answer when I prayed
I would find someone and baby I found you
And all I want is to hold you forever
All I need is you more everyday
You saved my heart from being broken apart
You gave your love away
And I’m thankful everyday
We are both dancing and crying along.. I know that this is going to be our last moment together.
After a while, my phone is ringing. It turns out that it’s Cindy.
Cindy says “He is here… Everything is ready…”
I am hanging up the phone and looking at her one last time.
“Let’s get you inside the building..”
“I thought the party was about to be..”
“Come on.. Let’s not keep everyone else waiting..”
“What do you mean?” asked her
“Your real groom is waiting for you….