Part 1: My regrets (Ruby)
I couldn’t forgive myself forever. Anthony got an accident because of me. It’s so selfish of me to tell him about Christian that night. I shouldn’t have done it! His mom is right. I am just a spoilt little brat who likes to take an advantage from him. I still remember how devastated I was when police called me last night. It was the scariest night in my life. I thought that I have lost Anthony for good.
I know that I am making the right decision by breaking up with Christian. But, why my heart doesn’t feel better about this? Why does my heart feel so heavy instead? Honestly, I am glad that Amy gave me a slap in my face. At least, she gave me the courage to break things up in front of Christian’s face. I knew that I had disappointed Christian by giving up on our relationship but I have no other choice. I can’t have it both ways. I have to choose either one of them and I am choosing Anthony.
I still have to come to the office as I really need my income to help my mom to pay the hospital fee. I also couldn’t avoid Christian since we are working in the same office. I still have to work professionally. The only way I can do is to help him to become a successful General Manager.
Anthony hasn’t waked up yet until now. Prof. Wendy said that Anthony is still able to hear whatever we say to him. Every day, I try to read him the newspaper, give him a massage, and also tell him stories about how my day went. I try to come by as often as I can such as every morning, during the lunch time and also tries to spend the night in the hospital. I am hoping that when he wakes up, I will be the first person he sees. I want to make a promise that I will take care of him for the rest of my life. I can’t bear to lose him again in my life. Even though I don’t love him the right way now, it doesn’t mean that I can’t truly love him in the future. He’s my responsibility from now on. It’s my turn to take care of him and to make him happy. I hope that God will give me one more chance.
Every time I come to the hospital, I always in my worst mood. One reason is because of my father and the other is because of Anthony. My father’s condition is getting slightly better due to the help from a foreign doctor, Prof. Wendy. I know that she was sent due to Chris’ connection. I couldn’t thank him enough. My father is now able to breathe by the help from the oxygen. At last, he doesn’t need the ventilator anymore. My big families were there to witness such a miracle. However, I still need to prepare the cash to pay the long term treatment at the hospital for my father. I am so tired on both mentally and physically. I wish that by trading my life is enough to save both of them.
I am now attending the managerial weekly meeting at Wong. This is my first time to join the event. Cindy introduces me to everyone as the HRVP. Everyone claps to give me a warm welcome. Suddenly, the IT Director announces that they will have a new consultant from the hardware system in our company. Out of the ordinary, Christian also attends the meeting without looking bored or sleepy. I know that he tried to change himself very hard and I am proud of him. He is smiling at me as the IT Director continues to make his speech and says
“Besides upgrading our hardware, the new consultant will also handle the SAP project. He will work with us in our office for the next one year. Both parties will try to monitor each progress closely as this will impact our operating rhythm. Please let him observe and help him to answer any questions he asks. We will improve every technology aspects in our company. Please follow me to give him a round of applause when he enters the room. Cindy, please help me to get him. He is waiting in the collaboration room.”
We are waiting for the new consultant to come in. I am checking my phone every five minutes in hoping to get update news about both Anthony and my father’s condition. My mother told me this morning that my father is still put in isolation now due to the bacteria. Even the nurses are restricted to enter his room. Suddenly, I hear a round of applause coming from all managers to welcome the new consultant. I turn my head up and surprise to see that the new consultant is in fact Rudy.
I can’t believe what I see and think that it can’t be right. Why does he suddenly come to Wong’s as our new consultant?” I know about his work preference a little bit. I thought that he only took big multinational company to become his client. I really wonder why he comes to work at Wong now. I put my hands together and start to join the pack to give him a clap. This feels weird. We continue to have our weekly meeting and finally everyone is storming out from the meeting room as soon as the meeting is over. Now, it’s just Christian, Rudy and me in the room. I approach him and say
“Rud, welcome on board. I am really surprise to see you here.” I shake his hand formally.
“Cing, I am so glad that I can meet you during my first day at the office. You must have figured it out that I took the offer from Wong because of you. I found out that you are now working in here from your mother. She also told me the condition about your father. I know that you have such a heavy burden on your shoulder. You even look pale now. Are you feeling alright?”
I am looking at Christian and hope that he doesn’t find this awkward. There is nothing I am afraid more than when he gets crazily jealous. Chris finally gives us the weird look at says
“Have you guys known each other?”
“Yes. He’s just an old friend of mine. I have known him for years.” I reply to Christian. I don’t want to cause any more misunderstanding. We have been through enough lately.
“It’s good to see you and welcome to Wong’s Enterprise. You can reach me at anytime. This is my card. I am sorry that I didn’t catch your name before.” Says Christian politely
“I am Rudy, nice to meet you General Manager Wong.” He addresses him very formally.
“Rudy?” says him loudly. Christian suddenly changes his expression, takes my hand and pulls me out of the room.
“What are you doing? Please let go of my hand. We are at the office. I don’t want people to see that we are not behaving ourselves.” Says I to Christian
Christian then replies “I don’t care. Is he the same Rudy? Is he your ex?”
“How did you know?” I am surprise that he knows about Rudy.
“Kev told me once. I thought he already has a wife and a son by now.”
“No. They didn’t get married. It’s a long story but it’s not important anymore. Anthony is the most important thing for me. I need to go back to work!”
Christian looks at my eyes deeply and suddenly gives me a hug so tight and whispers
“Ruby, I know about your difficult position. You try to sacrifice your happiness for Anthony. It’s ok. I will help you to find the best treatment for him. We are in this together. You are not alone. But, please don’t pull me from your side anymore. I can wait. But, you have to promise me that you won’t change your feelings towards me. I am not scared of anything. The only thing that scares me right now is only if you have a change of heart. Losing you is one thing I scare the most in the world.”
I can sense that he feels powerless at the moment. This hug feels very different. One year ago, the Christian I knew can get anything he wants just by asking for it. It’s my fault that I have changed him to become this unhappy. I miss his lack of seriousness, I miss his laugh and most importantly, I also have to admit that I miss the two of us being this close. I have to let go of his hug and pretend that I don’t want him in my life. This is such a big fat lie but I have to hurt him once again by rejecting him in the cruelest way. This is the only way that I could make him to hate me instead of loving me.
“Please let go of me. My heart is only for Anthony now. No one else is more important than him. Our relationship is only between a superior and a subordinate. It’s that simple. You have to understand that I don’t posses any feelings towards you anymore. I already had a change of heart.”
He lets go of the hug and starts to look at my eyes even deeper. It’s so deep that I can feel that he is in so much pain. I see tears begin to fall down from his eyes. He walks out on me for a while, stops and then turns his head to look at me one more time. He says
“I won’t give up so easily, not on you, never on you. I will find your heart back.”
I go to the ladies room immediately and lock myself there for a while. I burst into tears as I now that I just hurt him badly. He doesn’t cry easily. He is not like me or Kevin who are very sensitive towards feelings. I really have hurt him just then. A thousand words of sorry seem worthless compare to what I did to him before. Why does happiness always fly out from me so quickly?
After sobbing and cleaning my face, I go back to my desk and drown myself to work for hours. I have to collect my concentration back. I need to conduct five important interviews after lunch time. They are all for high level positions. I hope that I could forget about any of this and starts focusing on work. I need to keep my professional level while I am at the office. Failure is not an option.
I reply many emails from the candidates and ask them to see me for an interview around next week. I stop typing and begin to think that I am afraid that Christian will give Rudy a hard time in order to make him leave Wong. I am afraid that he will do things his own way without evaluate things properly. I recall that he gets easily jealous. I still remember the time he kicked me out from his house in Sydney before. However, he is now a General Manager and he needs to earn respects from many people in the company. If he is making a subjective decision, the BOD will not please and they might think to even replace him with someone else. I have to discuss this to Christian later on.
I took off 15 minutes before lunch time as I am afraid that either Rudy or Christian will ask me to go out for lunch. I am buying a club sandwich and head of to the hospital right away. I stop by to the ICCU to see my father first and then going to Anthony’s room. Prof Wendy has told me that his heart beat is getting better. His HB level is also increasing due to the blood transfusion I gave him yesterday. Luckily, we have the same blood type. I begin to tell him the story about my day today. I don’t want to hide things from him anymore. I know that I will hurt him should I have secrets in front of him. Suddenly, there is a knock in Anthony’s room. I open the door to see who it is and it’s Rudy. It seems that he can always find me whenever I am missing.
“How is he? I knew from your secretary that you always come by to the hospital lately. I didn’t know that Anthony is also in the hospital. It must be really hard for you. No wonder that you look so pale.”
I have to give a warning to Jane to keep my personal things confidentially. I should have given her a clear instruction not to just tell anyone about my location without my approval. I thought that no one would even bother to check up on me besides Christian. It will be appropriate for Christian to always know where I am during office hour as he is now my direct boss. I also have told Jane about Anthony because I want her to be able to find me should there’s any urgency matter in related to work not to inform any strangers where to find me.
“Thank you for coming. His condition is more stable now. We just have to wait patiently for Anthony to wake up.” I reply to Rudy
“Cing, you know that Anthony and I can never be close friends. But, he is one the most respectable gentlemen I’d ever met. I feel sorry that he got an accident like this.”
“I know. Thank you.” I reply him politely.
I don’t know why but my relationship with Rudy now is not even as close as regular friends. I look at him as if we haven’t been in a relationship before. I only see him as a normal colleague. Even though he has shown me that he truly cares, I still couldn’t share my burden to him. There is a huge gap which blocks my previous feeling for him. I am not sure if this is due to Christian. Maybe it’s right. The moment I start to fell in love with him is the moment I had stopped to feel for Rudy. Rudy puts his hand in front of my face and asks me to stops my mind from wondering around. He says
“Cing, please allow me to be the one who takes care of you now. You don’t have to face this alone. You still have me. You don’t have to be brave all the time. Please try to depend on me from now.”
I give Rudy a weak smile and then reply
“Thank you but I am not alone. I was never alone and I never will. I will always have Anthony besides me. You don’t have to worry about me now.”
“I understand but he is still unconscious now. He cannot protect you anymore. You need someone to support you. Who knows when he’ll wake up” Rudy replies to my strong reaction early on.
“I always believe that he will wake up shortly.”
Rudy stops talking and hand me a box of a take away food. He says that it’s not good to just eat sandwich for lunch. He bought me my favorite meal. It’s Hainan chicken rice.
“Thank you.” I take the meal and start to eat the chicken rice.
While eating my meal, I am thinking so hard on how to make a clear distant from Rudy. I don’t want him to get close to me anymore. I don’t want him to catch a wrong signal. It will make things even more complicated than it already was. I also don’t want his mother to gets her hope up and get disappointed again at the end. Most importantly, I don’t want Chris to misunderstand about us.
We stay there for another hour to wait for the doctor’s visit and head back to the office together using a taxi. When we got off from the taxi, Christian has already waited for me. Suddenly, I really have a bad feeling about this. The way he stares at us is similar to a killer stare I saw in a movie.
“Where did you go? Why the two of you took off from the same cab together?”
“I went by to the hospital and we met there.” I reply to Christian. I am afraid that he wouldn’t able to control his jealousy. I need to clear things up with him as soon as possible.
“You!” he points his finger to Rudy. “I just need to remind you once. Stay away from her!”
He pulls my hand and drags me to the nearest coffee shop before going inside the building. I know that he must be furious to see us together. Why can’t he trust me that I am not feeling the same way about Rudy anymore? Sometimes, I really think that he gets jealous too easy. I am pulling my hand and start talking to Christian with a high tone in order to show him that I am angry.
“Chris, when can you stop acting like a child? We are just friends now. Rudy was just showing his sympathy towards what happened with Anthony. You were rude to him. You are his superior now!”
Chris says “He wasn’t trying to empathize. He wanted to catch your attention again. I don’t understand. That bastard has left you before and now he dares to make a move on you again.”
I am so tired to keep explaining the same thing over and over again. I finally give a harsh reply
“Look! You have to behave yourself as this is still during office hour. I don’t want anyone to look at how you treated a co worker like that. What happened between Rudy and I was a long story. He is not as bad as you think. You only heard one side of the story from Kevin. Besides, I don’t possess any feelings towards him anymore. You don’t have to worry about me getting back together with him because this is not my intention for now. I have told you about this several times. Why don’t you believe me? Is it so hard for you to completely trust me?”
I am beginning to feel even more desperate about the whole situation as the man I love couldn’t support me where as the other man I am no longer love give me his best support. I am just so tired that another problem has arrived before I even know how to solve the previous problem yet.
“I believe you. It’s him whom I don’t trust!”
I spend the next 20 minutes trying to calm his emotion down. I also ask him to promise me to separate things clearly between business and personal matters. He couldn’t show his feelings towards me or Rudy anymore as long as we are on the office. He finally agrees to let this go.
Part 2: Meddling in (Kevin)
I don’t know what happened between Chris and Ruby. Chris never begs anyone, even to me before. He is a very arrogant man and self righteous. This time, it really shows that he is willing to do anything for Ruby. I already got an email from Cindy a few minutes ago. She sent me an electronic airline ticket to go to Indonesia tomorrow. Sometimes, Chris just couldn’t understand that an ordinary person like me cannot just leave with such a short notice. I have to ask my boss for a leave permission first and even talk to Lily that I am going to Indonesia tomorrow.
I am sending an email to my boss saying that I have to leave as soon as possible to Indonesia tomorrow due to a family emergency for an unknown period. I hope that I don’t get fired over this. I call Lily right away and explain to her that Chris has asked me to go back urgently. She asks me what happened and I tell her that it’s something to do with the office. Lily knows that Chris has helped me in my neediest time so she doesn’t complaint about it. I didn’t tell her that all of this has something to do with Ruby. She is always very sensitive when I mention her name.
I already arrive at Soekarno – Hatta International Airport and go to the Silver Bird stall right away. I call Cindy to ask where Chris is now and she tells me that he is at the office. She texts me the full address to the office and Christian’s exact location. As soon as I am there, I go to the elevator and press number 28. The elevator door opens before level 28 and I see a guy coming in to the elevator.
I look at the guy and wonder why he looks very familiar to me. Where have I seen him before? It turns out that he is also going to the same level with me. I ask someone at the nearest desk to the elevator to ask where Chris’ room is while still bringing my suitcase with me. She points out the direction and I finally can see the tag hanging on the upper side of the door with a name Christian Wong. Below the name, there is another written which read General Manager. I am laughing at myself and entering the room without even knocking. He is sitting on his desk and playing his iPad.
“Wow! You asked me to fly 8 hours from Sydney but you didn’t even try get me at the airport!! Now, I even see you playing the damn angry bird using your iPad. You are a good friend!” I scream at him.
“Aghh.. You are a big boy! No one will ever want to kidnap you!” He laughs at me
We hug for a while and he seems very happy that I am here.
“Wait here! I will get Ruby.” He goes to the door so fast.
“No no.. Wait.. I know you want to find a topic to see Ruby but you need to tell me what happened first so that I can help you.”
He tells me about how it went just fine with them until Anthony got into a car crash. He begins to raise his voice when telling me about Anthony’s condition.
“We don’t even know if the dude can walk anymore! I have talked to the Doctor personally. I have begged my mom to fly in the best doctor in the area. She even asked Prof. Wendy from Germany to help with Anthony’s medication. But, he still doesn’t give us any respond. He is still in a coma!”
I ask him why his mother is willing to help Anthony as I know that she is not a caring type. There must be a reason for Aunt Ruby to agree helping someone. Chris explains to me about the deal with his mother. How she has asked him to obey her instruction from now on. I feel very suspicious about this but decide to put this matter aside for now. He continues to tell his story.
“There’s another big problem! You know about Rudy right? He is now working in here as an IT consultant! I can’t even touch him as he represents IBM. He has driven my edge of. He tried to get close to Ruby. Ruby denied on his intention of course by saying that Rudy was just gave her his sympathy towards Anthony. But, both of us know that it’s never that simple.”
I am analyzing the situation as fast as I can and I know that things haven’t turned out well for Christian. I feel bad for him as this is his first committed relationship. I remember that Rudy was Ruby’s ex who got a girl to get pregnant.
“Didn’t Rudy get married before Ruby went to Sydney? I remember that she told me something about him. I thought he got one girl pregnant.”
Christian answers me immediately while hitting his hand on the table.
“That’s the thing! Ruby told me that their marriage was off. She didn’t inform me the detail but it seems that the guy is here for one purpose only and that’s to get Ruby back. I heard him speaking with Ruby directly when they first met in the office. Look at Ruby now, who doesn’t want her?”
I am laughing at Chris’ reaction. It’s really easy to destroy him. We just have to make him feel jealous. There is no way that he is ready to take his role as a solid General Manager and able to treat Rudy fairly. Chris came back to Indonesia for one purpose only and that’s to stay close to Ruby.
“Ok! Chris, I will help you to figure things out and try to hear the story from Ruby’s end. In the meanwhile, you need to get my luggage and send them home. You also need to prepare a car and a driver for me while I am in Jakarta. I will go to Ruby’s office to see how she is doing.”
Chris is laughing at me while pointing out the direction to go to Ruby’s office. Her office looks smaller than Chris’. She left the door open and I come in straight away to give her a surprise.
“Bu Ruby, there’s someone who wants to meet you.” says I to her formally.
She is concentrating to finish typing on her laptop. She looks up and finally sees me.
“Kevin? What are you doing here? Oh! What a pleasant surprise!”
She is giving me a hug and I can see that she really looks happy. This is one other thing about Ruby. She can never hide her true feelings in front of the people who are close to her.
She will laugh when she wants to laugh and she will cry when she wants to cry. Maybe, that’s what we have in common as musicians. We are both so sensitive but thoughtful. It’s so easy for us to show our emotion by either crying or laughing. We are both melancholic creature.
“Are you still busy for the rest of the day?” I ask her immediately. Her work attitude is so different with Christian. I saw him playing with his iPad while Ruby seems to handle a pile up of documents.
“I am quite busy at least until 07.00 PM. I also still to check many reports. Chris supposed to get all of this done by yesterday but he returns all documents to Cindy and asked her to do it instead. Cindy then gave it back to me because she didn’t have the time to do it and asked me to help her. I don’t even know how to make such an important decision like this. I’ve only been here for three weeks.”
I am laughing as hard as I knew that she will also do a double job. I have to let Christian knows about this. Maybe, he will come to his sense and start taking a true responsibility as a GM by not forwarding his jobs to everyone else.
“Ok! Since you are busy at the moment, I will come by and pick you up to go for dinner. After that, maybe we can drop by to the hospital to see your father and Anthony.”
“Deal!” She answers me with a smile.
I go to Chris’ office and surprisingly, he has done all the things which I asked earlier. He also gives me a new phone and writes the number on a piece of paper. He must have a very capable secretary.
Chris has rent a place for me at Sudirman Park. The apartment is a bit small compare to the one in Sydney but the good thing is that it’s near to the office. The driver also informs me that Chris will also move in with me tomorrow. I wonder whether he can stand to live in a small place like this. His room in Sydney is even bigger than the whole apartment times two.
It’s 07.30 PM and I am at already back at the office to pick up Ruby.
“Rub, are you done?” I ask her
“Please sit for a while and wait for another five minutes. I just need to send two more emails. You can have a seat wherever you want to.” She replies to me with a weak smile. She seems very tired.
“Ok!” I look around at her office. Her files are piling up neatly in her cupboard. She even organizes them alphabetically. I am smiling at her for a while. Suddenly, there is a guy who I saw in the elevator coming in to her office.
“Rub, have you eaten anything? I bought you a warm soup.”
Ruby looks at him and introduces me to the guy.
“Rud, this is my very good friend from Sydney Kevin. Kevin this is Rudy.”
I finally know why he looked so familiar to me. I saw his picture on Ruby’s wallet when she dropped her wallet at the house before. He must be the guy Chris has been telling me about. Suddenly, I have a plan to check his real intention to Ruby.
I put my right arm on Ruby’s shoulder and say “Thank you for the soup but we will have dinner at another place later on. I am just here to pick her up.”
Ruby is staring at me weirdly. I give her a sign to cooperate with my act. She smiles and finally says
“Yes. We already had plans. Do you want to join us for dinner?”
She asks Rudy out of respect and it’s just a sign that she is trying to be polite with him. I hope that he understands that he is supposed to reject her. I need to have some private time with Ruby now.
“Thank you but maybe some other time. I have to go back and check on something.” He answers Ruby. Rudy’s expression is so cold. You cannot see right away whether it bothers him to see Ruby having a dinner with another guy. He doesn’t look jealous. He’s just too hard to read.
“May I still have the soup though? I can bring it to the hospital and heat it up later for breakfast tomorrow.” She says to Rudy.
Ruby is always like this. She never wants to hurt anyone’s feeling. I have to inform her later that her ambiguity will make everything complicated. Some people might interpret her attention differently. She is just too nice to everybody. I hope that Rudy doesn’t think too much about the soup.
Ruby takes me to one of the Indonesian food restaurant called Gado – gado. It’s at Kempinski Hotel.
“How do you know that I want to eat Indonesian food?” I ask her right away
“I know that you haven’t come home for a while. I thought that you might miss Indonesian food.”
I am smiling at Ruby. She is still the girl I knew.
“Ok! I know that you must have plenty of things to share with me. Just tell me everything. I am willing to listen.”
Ruby then replies “I will tell you everything but you have to promise me one thing.”
“What is it?”
“You cannot ask me to go back to Christian and you have to support my decision no matter what.”
I am nodding my head. I am not sure that I can keep this promise as I only come back as a favor to Chris. But, this is the only way I can get her to talk. For the next one hour, she spills everything to me. She also tells me that she is so sad that her friends are not around her right now because of Amy. She feels bad that she ends up hurting everyone she loves including her precious Anthony.
I am really feeling sorry for her. She has been through a lot at a very young age. Later on after she stops talking, I want to verify what she truly feels for Chris, Anthony or Rudy right now.
“Do you still have feelings for Chris right now? Why did you end things with Chris? I thought that you have finally found your real feelings towards him. I thought that you were happy with him.”
She is nodding her head slowly. I know that she means that she still loves him. Her eyes are teary. I could imagine that she needs to hide this in front of anyone, especially in front of Chris. I ask her another question “What is your real feeling for Anthony now? Please tell me truthfully.”
She keeps quiet for a while and gives me an answer
“You know that he is very important to me. But, the reason for him to get the accident was because of me. It’s because I told him about Christian that night. I also told him that I couldn’t live without him and it’s true. I don’t want him to think that he is not important to me anymore as I already found Chris. I feel awful, I couldn’t forgive myself. He has been taken care of me since I was little but look at I did to him. Kev, What strikes me the most was he told me for the first time that he couldn’t live without me either, it’s not just me. You don’t have any idea how intense our last conversation was. He told me that I was his first and only girl in his life. I was the only one. He told me that he doesn’t know how his live his life without me by his side. I will never leave his side again from now, never.”
What Ruby said really stabs my deepest heart. I finally understand that Anthony and Ruby have a relationship that anyone couldn’t replace. I thought he is just her childhood friends. But, this is clearly more than that. They depend with each other and couldn’t live without one another. Anthony’s accident was a strong evident that he decided to leave the world due to Chris. He really couldn’t live without her. He might know that what Ruby felt for Chris was for real. I am not sure whether Chris could ever accept this. I know that unless Anthony can fall in love with another girl, his feeling for her will not change. Their bounds cannot be broken easily. This is so complicated.
I am waiting for her to continue her story.
“I wish that can tell you in the right way so you can understand everything better about what happened that night. I felt broken when I saw Anthony burst into tears like that. It was the first time for me to see him crying like that. He told me about all the first time he saw me, liked me and many more. He still remembered it as if it’s just yesterday. Our memory is the only thing he treasures. You know that he was also the one who taught me so many of my first such as how to ride a bike. We wouldn’t be as we are today if we didn’t have each other. We depend on each other so much. I don’t know how to explain to you. Maybe you and Chris thought that what I felt for Anthony is just a sympathy love which only based on responsibility and obligation. But it certainly is not. Now I have to tell you the truth about everything. It’s always so much more. I love him as well. I really don’t know how to live without him. I don’t expect you to understand but he is the person that I love the most. ”
“Why didn’t you two get together then?”
“You know that I never love him that way. That’s why I had a relationship with Rudy and Roy before. I thought that he was feeling the same. It’s just a very strong brotherly love or a love between two of the closest relative. But, everything changed when I found out his real feelings toward me a year ago. I didn’t want to hurt his feeling back then so I tried to love him differently. I responded to his kiss and I thought that I also felt something. But, meeting Chris made everything different.”
“I hate myself because of this. It seems that I am playing two of them. I never knew that I could love one person and fell in love with another person at the same time. I loathe myself for this.”
I am thinking for a while and say
“No. I think that you are punishing yourself too hard about this. You fell in love with Chris at a different time and even at a different place. At first, I didn’t know why you tried so hard to make a distant with him. Now, I know the real reason behind this. It’s because you are trying to be faithful with someone you don’t really love. You put your best effort to like him but you just never really like him. If you fell in love with Anthony before you went to Sydney, you might not even want to go in the first place. You put your best effort on yourself to start feeling the same way as Anthony’s but you have failed each time you tried. You are not playing both of them. You are just too naive.”
She is crying and continues to speak to me.
“Now, I even found out that I am his oxygen. How can I choose to be with Chris now as I know how crucial I am in his life? I know that everything must when I realize that he really cannot live without me. Those are just not words but everything has come into action. It’s already a black and white. I am like the air that he breathes. That’s why I decide to let Chris go and get engaged with him when he gets better. I don’t want him to lose his life just because I cannot love him back. It’s just not worth it. It’s me who has to change the way I love him. I want to start loving him the right way and I will commit for it in order to make him happy and safe. I will stay by his side no matter what. I won’t take any risks to lose again. By deleting Christian from my life, I know that I could change to love him.”
I am looking at her and say
“No. You couldn’t. You might think that you could. You might try to put your best effort to love him but you will never could. You can act but act never turns into reality. You will only end up hurting yourself and Chris because of this. Do you know that both of you are in love with each other now?”
She is looking down to the floor and says
“I know. At first, I also try to fight for our love. That’s why I chose to accept Chris. For all this time, Anthony and I didn’t get together because I thought that he can live without me. If I had known that he couldn’t accept my relationship with Christian, I wouldn’t have accepted Christian. It’s all my fault. You have to know Kev that I don’t want to live in the world where Anthony doesn’t exist.”
“No, you must not think about it that way. Whatever happens, you need to move on. You must not rely on anyone but yourself. However, after hearing you, I can slowly to understand part of it. Your relationship with Anthony is so deep and beyond complicated. I can sense that you love him more than anyone in this world. It’s just very unfortunate that Anthony loves you back in a different way of love. Otherwise, things can work out perfectly and both of you can get your happy ending.”
She is smiling to me and I continue to give an advice to her.
“Even then, I am not so sure that it’s right for you to get engaged with Anthony. You clearly need to differentiate between love and fear. You need to understand that marriage is a one life thing and your reason is just not good enough for me. Marriage is supposed to be based on pure love. I can get a sense by the way you told me that your feeling towards him is more of afraid to lose him rather than the pure love itself. You have to think about this wisely and take some time to evaluate things more careful. Don’t rush to get engaged because you are afraid to lose each other. Both of you can’t reach a true happiness that way. Promise me that you won’t put aside your happiness.”
Ruby is nodding her head and I continue to ask the question Chris has been dying to find out.
“Can you tell now about Rudy? Why is he here? I thought that he was married with someone else.”
Ruby tells me the whole thing about a girl named Anna who faked her pregnancy and lied to Rudy in order for him to marry her. She is waiting for me to respond on this absurd news by saying
“What do you think? Isn’t she crazy? She must love him so deep! I could never do that to someone”
“Rub, you can even write a book about your story. I am sure that it could become a best seller. I just sincerely hope that you can get your happy ending. After hearing your story, I wouldn’t ask you to come back to Christian. I know that you feel obligated to take care of Anthony. Now, the only thing that we can do is to wait. Time will answer everything. However, no matter what will happen later on, I want you to know that you can always share your feelings with me. I will be here by your side. I will always support your decision. I know that you can make the wisest decision for all people.”
Ruby thanks me and pays for the bill. She said that now it’s her turn to treat. I ask her where she lives and it turns out that we are living in the same building. No wonder that Christian arranged me to live there. He even plans to move in with me. I am laughing to myself.
Ruby asks me why I am laughing by myself.
“Nothing. It’s just Christian has arranged me to live in the same building as yours. He will move in with me starting tomorrow. Now, I know the reason why. The apartment is so small but he is willing to make the sacrifice. Sometimes, I salute Chris. He is even willing to live in a bird cage for you.”
Ruby is also laughing and she even offers me to stay at her place by saying: “I have a spare room but it’s small. If you want, you can stay at my place. There’s a maid who can clean and cook for you. You will feel more convenient. At least, you don’t have to clean the whole apartment as I know that Chris will never clean anything.”
“Chris would kill me!” We are both laughing and heading to Sudirman Park.
“Kev, I want to grab some clothes and spend the night at the hospital. You can just go head to your apartment. I want to stay close to Anthony as much as I can.” Says Ruby
“Can I go with you?” I ask her.
“No. right now it’s too late for you to go back and forth. Also, there’s only one sofa bed at the hospital. It would be inconvenient for you to spend the night with me. You have to take a rest. You just arrived today. You must get your body to adjust to the time difference. See you tomorrow, ok?”
I miss living under the same roof with her. She is so endearing. I look at Ruby and she looks tired.
“Ok! Rub, you need to eat some vitamins.” I have noticed that she looks even paler than before.
“Don’t worry, I will.” She replies to me.
I finally reach home and Chris has already waiting for me. He asks me anxiously how my meeting went with Ruby. We sit on the couch and I finally give my first hard advice to him.
“You have to support Ruby by leaving alone at the moment. She already has too much burden. I am afraid that her pressure is just too high and she might eventually crack. Don’t worry about Rudy. Even though Rudy’s ex girlfriend faked her pregnancy and the two of them didn’t have married, Ruby doesn’t feel anything towards him now. She only thinks about two men in her life. The first is you and the second one is Anthony. For now, she already chose Anthony.”
Chris finally smiles and says
“I was so worried about Rudy. I know that she even loved Rudy more than she fell for Roy. You told me that Rudy was the love of her life. It’s a relieve for me to know that she doesn’t love him anymore. I could feel more relaxed. There is nothing which scares me the most rather than losing her in my life. Now, I can focus to help her to find a better medication for Anthony. If Anthony gets better, she will no longer feel responsible for him. She will come back to me eventually.”
I am shaking my head. Poor Chris! He always thinks everything in the simplest way. He never knew love before. He never experiences a kind of love which can make anyone sacrificing themselves for the other person happiness. He is not close with his parents and also with June and Amy. His friends always change every year and he never ran out of stock because he is really rich. I am the only friend who can be friends for him for more than 3 years time. I am trying to explain to Chris slowly.
“That’s the thing Chris, it’s not that simple. It’s not just Rudy. Anthony’s situation is much more complicated than I thought it was. It’s even more complicated than if Ruby even fell in love back with Rudy. The two of them can get back together but they can also break things up. But, it is different with Anthony. Bottom line, Ruby can’t live without Anthony and he can’t live without her also. It is maybe something that both of us could never understand. I am not sure whether you can accept Anthony’s presence in the future. They share something more than just a life time. It’s something more than even family itself. It’s more even more than soul mate. It’s like Adam and Eve. Anthony taught her how to ride, how to read, how to speak English and Ruby was also the first who taught him about laugh, tears, and even love. Their heart is one. No one could enter their world.”
Chris then sits closer to me and says
“Is this for real? I never see such thing. I am close with June and May but it’s not like I cannot live without them. I don’t understand why they couldn’t live without each other. It’s not even normal.”
“I know. That’s why. It’s something that both of us could never understand. I am sure that you could live your life well without Ruby. It’s just you don’t want to. But, Anthony and Ruby are different. They really couldn’t survive without each other. They depend on each other badly. The only problem is the way the love each other differently. I saw with my own eyes how Anthony took care of her during her darkest time, it’s really something Chris! That’s why I decided to go back to Sydney because I knew that Ruby will get the best attention. Anthony can even put everything aside when it comes to Ruby. I can’t explain things to you clearly. You have to see it by yourself.”
He seems distracted and sits on the couch doing nothing. After 20 minutes moment of silence, I go inside my room to unpack and take a shower. Even after then, he still sits there looking at Ruby’s picture on his mobile.
“What should I do? I don’t want to lose her. I don’t want to give up so easily.” says Chris
“I know. You have to give her some peace first and help her as much as we both can. If she is yours to have, she will be yours. But if she’s not yours in the first place, she won’t be yours in the future. Whatever happens, please note that Ruby already suffered so much. We don’t need to add more problems into her life. If you love her, sometimes you just have to leave her live in peace.”
Chris spends the night in this small apartment by sleeping on the couch. He is staring at the ceiling for a long time. I am shaking my head as I wouldn’t have accepted that Chris could actually live here. Although I know the reason he is willing to stay here, I am still amazed of his strong will to sacrifice for Ruby. I know that deep down in his heart, he is also afraid that Ruby’s condition will drop due to the dreadful events. He wants to monitor her as close as he can and be there for her in time of need. Sometimes, I have to admit that the way Chris loves her is very touchy like a super heroes.
Part 3: A life time secret (Betty – Christian’s mother)
Cindy just informed me about all the things happened at the office while I was away. I ask her about the relationship progress with Chris and Ruby. She told me that the two of them might have been separated even though Chris is still pursuing her. Honestly, I never against the two of them being together. I am even glad that Chris finally found someone with a good heart. The other girls who he has been before just stayed with him because of his fortune. However, I don’t want Chris to get things always in the easiest way. I want him to value Ruby in his life and change his irresponsible behavior. It’s not easy for anyone to find someone who loves us unconditionally.
I have the biggest secret which I never tell all my kids about it. I had a man in my life before their father, someone that I truly love with all my heart and it’s not June and Amy’s father, Wong. It’s Christian father. It’s my first husband whom my parents never approve. I gave birth to first son and I even had to leave him behind. I got pregnant with a second son for two months before I was married to Wong. We had an arrange married in order to have both of our family’s condition. Wong needs to marry me to get a private connection to my family’s bank where as my family needs Wong family business to survive from the economic crisis. He never knew that Chris was in fact my second son.
My first husband also got married with another woman few years after. I know that he was very disappointed with me. I heard that they got divorce 7 years ago. For my husband Wong, he never really loves someone. He just loves his business and his fortune. He has many mistresses all over the world. That’s why he agreed to marry me in the first place. My first son never knew that I am his mother and Christian never knew that Wong is not his birth father.
That’s why Wong intended to inherit the family business to May. He only agrees Chris to work in the company after I have signed an agreement to give all my shares later to Amy or June. Now, both of my sons are working in the company. My only wish is that the two of them can get close with each other and like each other as they are brothers. I don’t want any of my sons and daughters end up with a life like I am living now who never felt a true happiness in my life since I got married to Wong.
Deep down in my heart, I am glad that one of my children, Christian has found his mate in life. Ruby is a great companion for him. I need to think on how to plan his future life well. Cindy knocks the door to my office and gives me a personal data of one person I have been longing to see. It’s my other son Rudy. I have asked Richard, the IT Director to hire him as our consultant. I have been monitoring his academic and career progress lately. I am so proud of his achievements.
“Please send him in. I want to meet him in person.”
I wait for a while before Cindy comes back to knock and lets my son to enter my office.
“Please sit down. Welcome to Wong. I am glad that you are now on board with us.”
He shakes my hand and says “Thank you President Director Wong. I am here to represent IBM.”
I ask him a few questions about what needs to be upgraded in the IT aspects. He gives me a very thorough analysis. I couldn’t believe that I gave birth to two different sons. Rudy must have undergone a much more difficult life compare to Christian. He is a very capable staff where Chris only knows how to have fun before he met Ruby.
My tears begin to fall down as he leaves my office to continue his work. I don’t know what I can do more or help him in order for Rudy to be more successful. Comparing to Chris, he is more the right fit to sits as General Manager. The only thing is that his family name is not Wong.
Cindy enters my room and gives me a brief detail about Ruby’s father condition and also her friend’s condition. It seems that the two of them are still in critical conditions.
“Cindy, starting from now, please takes care of all hospital bills for both patients. Let Ruby now that this is part of our company’s policy. I don’t want to burden her with the hospital cost. Is there anything that you need to report to me in regards of Ruby’s personal life?”
I look at her and she is shaking her head. Cindy has worked with me for a long time. I know when she is hiding something for me. I ask her what’s going on and then she informs me the news with a lot of hesitation.
“I am not sure whether I should report this. However, I think Rudy took the offer from our company because of Ruby. It turns out that he was her ex boyfriend. He left her few years ago because he had to go to Germany. He returned one year ago and planned to get married with someone else. However, he called off the wedding. I investigated furthermore and I heard that the girl lied to him about her pregnancy and even deceived Ruby to help her win Rudy’s heart. Ruby was left heartbroken and decided to go to Sydney. I heard they way he talked to Ruby and he is still in love with her. The two of them had a very serious relationship. Rudy’s mother also likes her very much.”
I couldn’t believe what I just heard. It can’t be this coincidence that both of my sons love the same girl even at the same time now. I know that I owe Rudy so much but I don’t want Chris to also suffer if I ask him to leave her. Ruby is the person he fell in love to and he is finally willing to change a lot because of her. On the other hand, I don’t want my sons to fight over Ruby. How can I solve this?
I ask Cindy how is Ruby’s feeling at the moment.
“How’s Ruby at the moment? Who does she like now?”
Cindy replies to me
“It seems that she has rejected both of them. She is now focusing more on Anthony. She feels responsible for what happened with Anthony’s accident. She always comes to the hospital whenever she can but she is still doing her job very well. Many of her co workers who looked down on her before is now praising her quality of work. She is truly a star employee.”
I ask Cindy to leave the room. I have to think about what’s best for my two sons. Maybe, it is best for Ruby to get together with Anthony. It is the only way for my sons not to quarrel over a girl. On the other hand, I really want Ruby to become my daughter in law and take my position later instead of Amy. She is much more experience, more capable and more mature to handle such a huge corporation compare to Amy. Maybe, I should wait for things to develop by its nature. If the situation is getting worse, then I will take the further action. I need to think about this carefully.
I give a call to Prof. Wendy as asks her to give the best medication to Ruby’s friend. Afterwards, I also give a call to Doctor Jimmy, the one who is taking care of Ruby’s father currently. I tell both of them to give Cindy a call at anytime should there’s any progress. I am beeping Cindy to call Jonny, the head of the HR department to come to my office. I want to find out her workload at the moment. She must have her hands full at the moment. “Please come in” I ask him to enter my room.
“Good afternoon President Director Wong. Is there anything that I can do for you?” asks Jonny.
“I want to talk to you about the new additional staff I put in your department. How’s Ruby doing? Is she catching up fast enough? How’s her work load at the moment?”
Jonny replies to my question with a high level of enthusiasm
“She is great! She catches up thing very quick. She is also a very dedicated worker. Her workload is quite heavy at the moment as she needs to do a four persons job at the time.”
I am shaking my head and ask him how this is even happened.
“How did this happen? Do we need to recruit an additional staff to help her?
“Yes. I think we do. She only has one secretary who assists her. She needs at least two other recruitment specialists to share some of her work. She also helps Christian with his entire daily task.”
I am asking Jonny to leave the room. I am quite disappointed as I thought that Christian started to take his responsibility well. I never know that he relies on Ruby even for his daily activities. I am calling Chris using my cell phone to straight things up with Chris.
“Hello. Chris, I hope that remember that you will do anything in order for me to help Ruby’s friend’s medication? I want you to take a Bogotta case without Ruby’s help except when having to recruit the staff. If you can succeed with the case, I will reevaluate things and start to accept the two of you together. Please come to see Andy as the COO to discuss the Bogotta case.”
I hang up before he can even answer. I really want him to do his work seriously. Otherwise, he will not be an equal fit for Ruby. Cindy then comes knocking my door and sends update news for me.
“Mrs. Wong, Ruby’s friend Anthony is now conscious from his coma state. Ruby has accompanied Anthony since last night. She is now talking to Prof Wendy about his progressive condition.”